I, for one, am not sorry to see 2011 fade into the blurry past. As a year, it got the dubious distinction of being The Absolute Worst Year Ever. (Although, now that I think about it, our run of crappy luck started clear back in the summer of 2010.) Digressions aside, though, I think I would rather focus on what remains now that the year is over.
First off, I honestly didn’t think I would still have Rio with me this far (4 years and 7 months) into the cancer drama. When we were facing the amputation this past January, our oncologist told us that Rio would have probably just a few weeks to a couple of months without the surgery. When the doctor discovered the metastasis in August, we were given a similar time frame for her survival. We are now looking at our 11 month ampuversary — despite the mets in her spleen and her lymph nodes. With the added “bonus” of Cushings Disease, there is an average of a two-year survival rate post-diagnosis. With all of this, Rio continues to buck the odds, and although I can see that her health is definitely on the wane, she continues to be the happy, beautiful girl she’s always been (although a lot less energetic).
Despite the difficulties of this past year, I still feel like it has also been a gift. I have had the time I needed to come to terms with the inevitability of life and the swiftness of it’s passing. I have also been given the opportunity (and the urgency) to make some treasured memories with my precious girl. Living with the clock ticking has given me the impetus to do things now rather than pretending I have all the time in the world. I have battled my own inner demons through this experience, and although the war is not yet won, I feel as if I have made some definite inroads. So far, I have survived this blasted rollercoaster, and despite all the times I’ve begged to be let off this ride, I’m still not quite ready for it to end.
For now, we still have today, and dammit, it’s gonna be a great day! And if we get tomorrow, then we’ve won the lottery! (And if we do win the lottery, color me delirious!)
HOPPY WOO YEAR!!!