How can it be that an entire year has passed since I said good-bye to my Rio and kissed her lifeless body farewell? I don’t understand that the world didn’t just quit spinning the second my heart shattered into pieces. And while I miss my girl with a pain beyond belief, life has managed to keep marching on. The sun keeps rising and setting, and the days keep coming and going. And I think, one of these days, I will start to feel alive again. One of these days, I won’t feel the sting of tears when I speak her name. One of these days, I won’t feel the familiar ache in my throat when I try to speak about a memory of her. One of these days, I won’t look for her when I come home. And one of these days, I’ll be able to reconcile the guilt of feeling like I didn’t do enough or perhaps I did too much. One of these days, I’ll put the pieces of my floundering life back together and stop trying to fill the hole in my heart she left behind.
One of these days…. Just not today. Today, I have given myself permission to wallow a bit. To fully feel the sadness and grief, and just miss her… Tomorrow, I can resume the effort, but today… Today I just gotta get through it…
Rest in peace, my heart, my Woo, my Rio-girl.
4/2000 – 1/20/2012