Cancer sucks!

You can think you’re totally prepared for bad news, know exactly what the doctor is going to tell you, psych yourself up to hear the absolute worst news, and still be stunned to hear it.  I think it’s because somewhere deep inside you’re still hoping that there will be a miracle.  Somehow, in an amazing turn of events you become the lucky winner of the lottery, the amazed and grateful recipient of the ultimate jackpot!!!!  And you smile and tearfully accept the prize, because you know there was never anyone so deserving of a miracle as your beautiful Rio.

But this was not my lucky day…. nor was it hers….  Today, the doctor told us that in the span of four weeks, while taking the Kinavet (our “last ditch effort” drug), the tumor in her lymph node has doubled in size.  Soon it will be creating pressure on her colon.  It could eventually become blocked, leading to a very rapid decline in her internal functions.  The other possibility is that the mast cell could degranulate, causing something very similar to anaphylactic shock.

I’m trying so, SO very hard to focus on things like the fact that we’ve had four and a half years together since she was first diagnosed.  My beautiful Rio and I have had some wonderful adventures together, and we still have time for a few more (if we hurry).  Like the fact that she’s a fighter, and she hasn’t quit yet.  Like the fact that she doesn’t know she’s sick, and she’s not in pain.  But my heart is breaking because I know that soon, way too soon, the thing I love the most in life will be gone.  And there’s not a damn thing I can do to change that.  So, I’m gonna have myself a good cry and several glasses of wine, and tomorrow, I’m gonna see if I can’t find in myself a little more of Rio’s strength and courage….

 

 

Another pawday!

Today is Rio’s 8-month ampuversary!  Treats for everypawdy!

I’m sitting here next to my girl, listening to her tummy gurgle it’s way through her breakfast, and I’m almost overwhelmed by how much I love this girl.  She truly is my heart and soul.

Love this girl, I do, I do....

We had a visit with our dog-ter yesterday for bloodwork to make sure the meds are being tolerated on the inside.  Other than a few extra medicinal naps (Gayle and Charon would be proud!!!), Rio is doing really well.  Outwardly, we really haven’t seen any noticeable side effects from the Kinavet, so I’m hopeful that her bloodwork will indicate that she’s not having any negative effects from it (elevated protein in the urine, elevated liver enzymes, etc.).  We have a follow-up ultrasound next week to see if it’s having any impact on the metastases.  Fingers and paws crossed!!!!

Meanwhile, our city-girl friends, Rayna and Yoshi, are visiting again while their pawrents are visiting family in the Caymans.  Good thing we have lots of room for doggies here at Camp Monroe!

Rayna

Yoshi